this is me

For years, I've tried to plot and plan my way to a writing career. I thought if I just finished college and stored up enough information, I would feel qualified to write. Then I graduated and still felt inadequate. I struggled and warred with this vision of what I thought I wanted to write. I had such lofty goals and aspirations. No wonder I felt so unable to accomplish them.

I figured I needed to start somewhere. I needed to get my feet wet. I wanted to begin with something I felt comfortable writing. I grew up with my grandma telling me "dream and dream BIG!" I took her literally and started penning my dreams at a young age. I decided this would be a good way for me to learn more about my writing style, the techniques, the tricks, etc.

So two years ago, I began the story of Calla and Max, a dream that had began when I was a little girl. I remember being so enamored by the story of Princess Anastasia of Russia. The idea of a lost princess struck a chord with me then. I would dream that I was a lost princess! I decided it was time to give her the happy ending she deserved through the story of Calla.

Sheepishly, I kept details of what I was writing a secret for a long time. To be honest, I was a little embarrassed. I was writing a novel about a princess, a far cry from those lofty goals I had fooled myself into believing I wanted. But the more I wrote, the more I realized this is me.

I write fiction. I write romance. And it makes me happy. Maybe someday I'll graduate to something that has a deeper message, something that has a grander impact on the world. But I have decided not to push it. My stories are mindless fun, meant only to entertain, and provide an escape from the harshness of everyday life.

I know this isn't for everyone, and I've come to terms that most of the people I have listed as FB "friends" will never read my book...if it's ever published. I've also realized that many who do, will be surprised by what I've written. I'm writing for me now. Writing what makes me happy. No longer pressuring myself to be something I'm not. Just trying to be me and write my dreams.