Several years ago, a book caught my attention, "Secrets of An Irresistible Woman." Ooh I wanted to be that! I bought it and subsequently highlighted the heck out of it. Turned out to be the continuation to a book titled "What To Do Until Love Finds You." Bought that one too. I was in and out of relationships at the time and they really helped me gain perspective, pointing my focus away from lovey dovey relationships to my relationship with God. I remember thinking to myself I want to write like this woman! But I was too insecure in my inexperience and lack of knowledge.
Years passed by and the desire to help young people find a Biblical perspective on dating still sat in the back of my mind but my insecurities were always greater. I needed motivation...fuel. That fuel came a little over two years ago. I was was so fired up about a conversation that had taken over all the common areas of the college I was at. It worked its way into the dorms, and a lot of people were heated up about it. People were stating opinions openly and things were being revealed about how people really viewed dating.
See dating isn't Biblical. You can search and search but you will not find it. There are many things that can be applied to a dating relationship but there is no Biblical mandate for how it should be done. Because of this, the Christian dating scene is in crisis.
At that moment two years ago when I realized all of this, I started unofficially blogging on my Facebook page in the Notes section, calling it Chocolate Chronicles. I started doing what God had planted in my mind years ago, but again I began to feel unqualified. I wanted to study it more and become more knowledgeable before I wrote anymore. But life happened and soon it was put on the back back burner of a house I had long since moved out of, completely forgotten.
This week I was scanning my news feed on Facebook and noticed someone posted a link to a blog called "How to Live Your Great Love Story." Curious, I clicked on it and read. I thoroughly enjoyed all the points the author made and finished it thinking I'm going to share this with every young and single person I know. They need to know this stuff. So I did. I posted the link on my Facebook wall and went back to the blog to post a comment (I liked it that much). That's when I noticed the amount of controversy this blog had generated. It floored me. I got so worked up I posted a reply to one of the negative comments, giving her a little piece of my mind.
The next day I checked back and realized the blog post had been deleted. The author explained that he did not realize how offensive some people had taken it so to not further offend anyone he was removing it to give it more thought and consideration before reposting it later on down the road.
Why was this blog on dating so controversial to so many Christians? Why does talking about it get so many riled up and create so many volatile reactions from so many people? Why is it that our current state of dating within the Christian bubble causes so many broken people filled with regret? And why do we continue in this destructive manner?
So the Bible doesn't have a mandate to follow to the letter. Does that mean we follow what society dictates? What is the solution? This has once again stirred up so much within me. Ok so I'm inexperienced. Ok so I'm not an expert in this area. I don't think I care any more. I'm sick of this current state and I want answers. I'm determined to find them. Nancy Drew move over!
How's a woman to act? Do you play hard to get? Or is that a game of manipulation? Do you be honest and forth coming but not too honest lest you scare him away? How important of a role does attraction play? Should it be more important than what is on the inside or be even? What are the physical boundaries? Do they differ with each couple? What are the emotional boundaries? What does it really mean to guard your heart and who's responsibility is that?
I know I am not the only single girl who thinks about these very questions. I may over think everything, but hey someone has to.
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