"table for one, please"

I once started reading this book called Sassy, Single, and Satisfied. It's by one of my favorite authors so I thought nothing of purchasing it and reading it through. The first section was on being sassy. I've got that part down. Then the second, obviously was on being single and sassy. Accomplished. Not necessarily by my own choice. But the final stage of the book was dedicated to being satisfied in your sassy, single state. There lies the problem. I put the book down. I have yet to finish it still, 5+ years later.

I can be sassy, and single if I must, but to be satisfied while being single is difficult. There is so much stigma to being single. Granted, most of this is self-imposed. I feel like everyone is looking at me differently when I show up at a wedding without a guest or when I show up year after year to my family's Christmas dinner still with no special someone in my life. But even though I feel this way, it doesn't mean that it really is that way.

Why is there such a negative outlook on being single? Most people would rather be in a bad relationship than actually be single. Why is that? Why would you demean yourself and put up with that just to avoid being alone?

Jesus was single. The apostle Paul was single. Yes, being with someone can be a wonderful thing, but who says being single isn't? There's less drama—far less drama. There's more freedom. I have freedom with my decisions, freedom with my money, etc. So much freedom. I don't have to consider someone else when making simple everyday choices.

Don't get me wrong, I have to remind myself all the time that single isn't so bad. It's easier when you see someone in an awful relationship. I am so grateful for my own singleness at those times. But that's what I don't understand. Why do we make justifications and put up with so much just so we can have someone? Not someone special, just someone. Why is there so much desperation to be in a relationship?

I've been through this. There have been times in my life where I've thought it's just easier to stay in this difficult relationship. It can be overwhelming thinking about how you have to start all over again. You put so much work into relationships and when they don't work out it's painful. But even as difficult as it may seem, I still think about how much better off I am.

Relationships are a blessing, but so is singleness. As a friend of mine said, it takes courage to be single. It's not easy. I'm a work in progress. I want to be in a relationship just like everyone else does, but I also know my worth in Christ and know that I am better than what I am willing to settle for in life. He has so much more for me. His plans for me may or may not include a tall man with dark hair and light eyes. The important thing is that I know who I am in Christ and that He wants to bless me and take care of me and He knows what is best for me. I need to trust in Him and His plans and have the courage to follow Him and not my own way.

Heartbreak can be difficult. At the moment it all falls apart, the heartbreak is almost too much to bear. Once you've pulled yourself away from the situation, though, you find that the pain may be more as a result of rejection and fear of being alone than actually pain caused from that person's absence in your life. Personally, this is what I've found true more times than not.

Regardless, the good news is your heart can heal. God is the only One capable of healing our broken hearts. He makes it new and whole again.

“He heals the broken hearted, and binds up their wounds.” Psa. 147:3 NIV

We still are responsible for who we give our hearts to and how much of it we give. Protect and guard your heart, and don't be afraid of being alone. It's not as scary as you might imagine.