inadequate

You know that feeling when you are so out of your element it's not even funny. Like the time I mistakenly thought I could be an athlete and tried out for the track team and almost died halfway through the first lap (and that's when I was in shape). Or like Penny on Big Bang Theory when the guys are talking Quantum Physics. You feel inadequate.

I feel that way a lot when I think of some people with great faith such as Jim Elliot. Like I could never be like that. Or maybe modern day people that I look up to like Beth Moore. I wish I had her smarts and her ability to communicate those smarts. Or Tim Tebow, football aside, the man is crazy unique. I can't fathom the temptations he withstands, the obstacles he faces, and the determination he possesses to take the stand he takes. I feel inadequate.

I mentioned in my last post about Gideon. He felt inadequate too. He couldn't get past the way he viewed himself.

Then the LORD turned to him and said, "Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!" 

"But Lord," Gideon replied, "how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!" Judges 6:14-15 NLT

God sees us as a masterpiece. He sees us as a work of art that He has created with His own hands. And too often we forget that. Pastor said God doesn't see us as we are, but as what we are to become in Him. We are a work in progress. We are the clay that He is molding and creating to become the beautiful and useful vessel.

I was doing my study in the life of David this morning, and Beth Moore was speaking about the moment in 2 Samuel 6 where David returned and danced without abandon before the Lord. It's kind of off subject, but I just kept thinking...What is it that hinders us from throwing caution to the wind and just living for God without abandon?

Why do we get so caught up in our limitations? It's a good thing that the Apostle Paul didn't get caught up in the whole “do you know what I did in the past, God?” Or what about Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary? You've got a schemer, prostitute, idol worshiper, adulterer, and an unknown virgin teenager all in the lineage of Christ. Wow!

Stop thinking about what you can't do and start asking God what He can.

hindrance

The last few weeks, I've been talking about change. You probably don't need me to say it again, but it's a series my church is going through. Change is something I struggle with on a daily basis, so a series like this is bound to become ingrained in my mind. I think of nothing else through the week. Change. How can I do it? How can I use the message given this weekend and apply it to my life to bring about change?


This weekend Pastor spoke about Gideon. Gideon had to get past the way he viewed himself before God could use him in the way He had purposed. We can't continue until we see ourselves the way God sees us. He sees us as a masterpiece. I could camp here for awhile, but I've decided to wait and come back to this thought later. How do you get beyond yourself to see the big picture, the big purpose?


I was reading Hebrews 12 this morning. I read it when I need a boost. It's like a Biblical protein shake. I started thinking about God's overall purpose and how we each have a race we must run. Then I started thinking about how I personally hold up the race because I can't let go of the sin that slows me down and hinders my progress.


Then I continued to read:


"Think about all he endured when sinful people did such terrible things to Him, so that you don't become weary and give up. After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin." Hebrews 12:3-4 NLT


Wow. I think my struggle is difficult. I give up on a daily basis, and have to start over again the next day. I complain that its all too hard, too difficult. Then I read this and realize my life is a piece of cake...with frosting on top. Why do I fight so hard against change? Why do I give up so easily each day only to start over? Why can't I strive harder? Why can't I push more?


It's because I can't see the big picture. I lose focus and train my eyes on the small things and forget about the race, forget about my purpose. Don't be blind to it. Each day is a struggle. Each day, you have to wake up and fight...well yourself, your sin nature. Look past it. Look beyond yourself. Focus on the race and the purpose He has for your life. Don't let the little things weigh you down and hinder you. Change. Get rid of them. They aren't worth it anyways.


"...'Once again I will shake not only the earth, but the heavens also.' This means that the things on earth will be shaken so that only eternal things will be left. Since we are receiving a Kingdom that cannot be destroyed, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping Him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12: 26b-29

wanting vs doing

How many of you made a resolution to lose weight this year? How many of you started a diet on Monday and by Wednesday gave up?

I absolutely love the show Biggest Loser. It's so inspiring to see these people who have hit rock bottom, face the very obstacles that they never thought they could conquer. But do you know what I do every season its on? I watch from my couch, and sometimes there is ice cream involved.  And I know I am not the only overweight person who does this.

Why do we wait until we are out of options until we make a change? Why do we just dream of a better life instead of doing something about it? We started the series, Epic Change, at church this weekend. Pastor spoke out of Judges 6:1-6. It says that Israel continually did evil and because of that, God gave them over to the enemy army. Eventually Israel was reduced to the point of starvation. It was then that they sought God for help.

They ended up in a place of depression and emptiness. Too often we allow that in our own lives. If we really dwell on things, we can see the areas in our lives that need to be changed. That's not the hard part though. The hard part is putting the work into it. On the Biggest Loser, the difficult part for them is not facing the scale. Nope. It's the months of blood, sweat, and tears that follow. You have to put in the work to actually change. That's the difference between wanting to change and actually changing.

Oh how hard this is for me to grasp! I want to be thin, but oh how fun cooking is...and it seems to be so much more fun with butter. So I ask myself which do I want more? To be thin or to eat cheesecake? I only use this as an illustration though. I'm not really talking about dieting (just to myself).

"Therefore since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us." --Hebrews 12:1 NLT

So what sin is holding you back? What's distracting you? What is it in your life that you need to change? Just like me with my diet, everyone has their cheesecake moments. And everyone has a decision to make. So are you going to wait until you hit rock bottom and are out of options until you realize you need change? Or are you going to do something about it today?

change

Change. I like to change my clothes. My sister, Shay, really likes to change her clothes. 

In my family, something is wrong with you if you don't change your hair color at least 2 or 3 times a year, at least. 

I've always loved coin change. I like to save it up and take it to coin star and see how much I accumulated. 

I LOVE changing up the furniture in my room! I get that rearranging gene from my mother. My dad, brother, and new brother-in-law hate this because I have such heavy furniture. I can't stand how it is now and want to change it so badly, but I haven't figured out how yet. I just know I will never hear the end of it if I ask them to move it and I don't like it, yet again. 

I really enjoy changing my nail polish. When I was in high school there was this guy that liked my feet. I know, really weird. I should have taken that as a red flag, but at the time I thought it was cute. Since I wore flip flops every day to school, and he was always looking, I literally repainted my toes every night. I'm not sure who was weirder...me or him. Although I must say, I do have cute feet, but I digress.

Some people hate change. They despise it. They run from it. They can't handle the thought of moving the dresser to the other side of the room to give more space and accessibility. Who cares if its more logical. It's change and they can't do it. 

My church is starting a new series this Sunday called Epic Change. I am so excited about this, yet, at the same time scared to death. I know that this will affect the areas where I don't welcome change. 

I've been working through this study on the life of David by Beth Moore. I forget to do it some days then find its been a month since I had picked up the book. Wanting to get back into the habit of it at the beginning of the year, I joined my mom and sister the other day and we did it together. The other morning it was talking about Saul in I Samuel 28. In this passage, Saul is seeking an answer from God, but God is not responding. 

Beth Moore points out some reasoning behind why God may have been silent. She says, "God never responds haphazardly, nor does He withhold an answer without regard. Why is God silent at times? Isaiah 59:1-3 gives us one very valid explanation for God's occasional silence, and one which certainly applied to Saul at this time. Isaiah wrote:

Your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear."

There have been many moments in my life where I have felt like God has been silent, as if He isn't listening to me. I've become angry and bitter because areas of my life aren't changing. I've felt stagnant when I've wanted change, and I've blamed God for not paying attention to my requests and pleas.

This study really opened my eyes to feelings and thoughts I've kept repressed. Moore points out that in Isaiah it doesn't say God can't hear, but that He won't. She says, "He was waiting on me to confront and confess certain sins in my life. His silence suggested, 'I will not go on to another matter in your life, my child, until we deal with this one'."

Sometimes we interfere with our own possibility of change. We cannot grow, but must remain stagnant until we confess and confront the sins that hold us back. I want change. Even if its painful and uncomfortable. I don't want complacency anymore. I want to press forward and grow in Christ. I want to be able to face Him knowing I gave it my all. I don't want to look back and regret the years I refused to change.